I have a new idea for alternative car with a fuel cell powered by eels, will I make money?

The delivery system essentially consists of a large water tank with eels and a throttle which controls the amount of the eel irritant introduced. The more you irritate the eels, the more charge you will get. The size of your tank and the number of eels dictates the speed and distance. You can expect 2 baby eels in a jar to power a bicycle on flat terrain for 5 miles at about 12mph. 20-25 mature eels can get you 0-60 in under 7 seconds and go for about 40 miles at freeway speeds before the eels die.

13 Comments

  1. Somone has beaten you to it with a super efficient green vehicle called the "it". Load this clip and then use the bar along the bottom to fast forward to 11.5 minutes.

    http://www.southparkzone.com/episode.php?vid=511

  2. Excellent idea! But you should use monkeys instead.

  3. that wouldn’t work. the other eniroMENTALists would freak since you are harming eels.

  4. I dunno, man, sounds cruel to eels, there are also religious dietary laws involved… eels are not kosher, man, so you will only be concentrating on a section of the market, man…
    plus you won’t be able to drive on friday nights, and saturdays, and most of sunday, man… that can be fixed by circumcising the eels, but that could be messy, I guess Penfold could do that, but not easily…
    anyhow, I think you will make monkey, damn!!!, money, anyhow, man, eel looks suspiciously like a snake, man, I mean what does the Book say about using snakes to power your car, man ? next thing you know, you are driving in one of them contraptions of yours, and girlfriend starts craving apples, man, scary sh!t… that is how it all started…
    Anyhow, man, them Eirabs who worship Oillah will never let you get away with it, man…

    hope that helped…

  5. ok if they die after 40 miles that would not only get smelly but would also be expensive to replace them for fishing we buy eels at anywhere from $1 to $1.50 a piece that would be $20 to $30 to go 40 miles if you use 20 of them it currently costs about $30 to fill my car i average around 300 miles to a tank even at the low end at$20 for 20 eels that would be $150 to go 300 miles so its not exactly economical either but its still an interesting idea and if you keep up on this kind of thinking im sure you will eventually get one more usable

  6. Lets take all the big American cars, shred them and make bicycle-paths out of it.

  7. No.

  8. You’ll go broke in a hurry. Electric eels work like capacitors, one good jolt and they’re done until they can recharge. You’d need at least 300 eels to maintain a steady discharge. And it could burn out the motor if several discharged at once.

    What you really need is a dozen or so electric turbot, hooked in series which can be drained more slowly and steadily. Keep them juiced up by introducing a small, remora like fish known as a "Turbot Charger."

  9. Already done – over 100 years ago – you are not unique and not the first – you cant get a patent on it.

  10. Ok so have you been this stupid your whole life or is it something new for you

  11. Can I use a pee battery instead? I really have to go!

  12. Starting with ourselves (human) to horses right through dead dinosaurs now to eels then what’s next asteroids?

  13. Run it by PETA and see what they think.

    Sorry, it seems PETA is the butt of a lot of jokes and so-called jokes here lately.

    That said, I think there are better, less invasive methods for alternative cars, but you get points for thinking outside the box.

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